Friday, December 17, 2010

Not giving up.....Just getting started

My doctor prescribed the anti-depressant Celexa as well as a anti-anxiety drug called Xanax. I cannot deny that I am terrified to take either of them. This is absolutely the last resort for me. My anxiety, depression, and eating problems have become more cumbersome to me over the past year than I can ever imagine possible. I have always had a 'anti-medication' mindset when it pertained to mental health. The fear of dependancy scares me. Not to mention there is always a possibility the patient can turn out much worse than they were before they started using the medication. However, after much consideration I realize there is nothing wrong with mood altering drugs as long as it is monitored closely by a doctor, and it benefits you.

Like anyone in this world I just want to enjoy life. I want to smile genuinely. I don't not want to be overly anxious when I go out in public. I want to go out to social events with my friends without feeling sullen, or out of place. I want to eat normally without the feeling of guilt. What I'm asking for isn't overreaching. What I want is the basic day to day normalcy that most people have.

I'm determined to get it, even if it means trying something that scares me.

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